Hopefully the Worst Is Over

I have been crying for months!! I was crying before the inevitable day of doom when Jeremy said good-bye for good. It's getting increasingly difficult for me to let go of my pseudo-relationships because, as I have been reminded day in and day out since Dec 21, not having a best guy friend to bum around with is really, really lonely. What I find most interesting about the whole thing is that we weren't even dating!!! I mean, if we weren't dating, why did it feel exactly like what I imagine a break-up to feel like? After all, according to all the guys who have not officially dated me I've never officially been on a date. We just participated in activities that resembled dates, which can only be distinguished from a real date by the label given the evening by the participants. Are you confused? Yeah... so am I. Basically, I've technically never had a boyfriend so I've technically never experienced a break-up. It's all quite stupid to me, but I guess the bottom line is that I should refuse future invitation to participate in date like activities unless the other party specifically agrees that it will be a date. Then, if nothing else, I'll be able to say that I've been on a date. And that will be a good step in the right direction.