Stop the Complaining Already!

Last Sunday Janet hosted a dinner group from her ward. Janet is an amazing cook, and she did a Thai spread. Honesty, it was amazing. All the girls in the group cancelled on her, and they had all been given assignments for the meal. As a result, she was looking for people to come and people to help with the cooking. Of course I volunteered to help when my plans fell through.

All the boys showed up and Melinda and I tried to help them make their dishes. Then the girls showed up. That's when it got obnoxious. Apparently, there are lots of rumors in the singles ward about the Bishop planning to lecture the girls about the complaining. What are they complaining about? The normal stuff. They complain about the boys not asking them out, they complain about the boys in general, they complain that they are expected to ask the boys out, they complain that they are expected to accept the dates from boys they aren't interested in.

I admit I hate the negative bitterness, and it a major factor in me leaving the singles ward, but when they were just complaining I was willing to tolerate it. However everything changed when we sat down at the table to eat. One of the girls turned to one of the guys and asked him to remind her what his name was and then the barrage of questions started. "Are you dating? Why aren't you dating? Who do you want to date?" It was so awkward and accusatory that I was embarrassed. Then I glanced up at the guy. His head was down and there was a look of shock mixed with extreme discomfort on his face as he hastily shoveled food into his mouth to avoid having to respond. My heart just went out to the poor guy, and I had a teacher moment. I'm not sure if it came across as correction or as a lecture, but I said that it was no wonder guys in the ward weren't dating if this is how the girls treat them. I pointed out that they had signed up for group dinners to meet people, but instead of meeting people and building relationships the way they were acting was simply rude. The table went silent, but the complaining stopped.

Eventually they started talking again, but the conversation was filled with jabs directed at me. I didn't really care, the guy seated next to me was really nice and we had a very polite conversation. I'm sure I'm on someone's list now. I'm sure I'll survive. Besides, it felt good to finally say what I was thinking instead of tolerating an impolite conversation I wasn't interested in.